You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
