your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
