i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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