We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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