Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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