i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
