The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
