If i could tip my vagina, i would.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
