It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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