I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
