I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
