U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
