whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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