Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
