i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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