Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
