The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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