mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
