cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
