what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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