Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just blew my weed a kiss
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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