i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
