one might say we're banned from that church
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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