I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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