i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
