I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
