He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
