Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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