im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
