Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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