I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
