I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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