Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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