my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
