you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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