Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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