i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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