Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
