When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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