HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
