Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
