Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
