Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
