Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
