I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
