we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
