this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
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theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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