Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
