That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
