I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
