I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
