my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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