I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
