She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Someone came in the potted fern
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
