Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
