I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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