how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
