oh god the rape fog is back!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just forgot I was standing up.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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