Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
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My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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