I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
