Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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