Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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