respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
