now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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