I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
