He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
